Yesterday was one of the hardest days and in my carrier as a midwife.  

I actually thought “Maybe I should just quit and be a nurse”.   

After 27 hours of assisting a Doula client, which turned out to be a C-Section, I grieved the loss of my best friend’s daughter.   I grieved for my friend who had been by partner in our midwifery practice and my client for three pregnancies.   I was with her when her tiny little girl was born.   We knew she had issues before the birth.   We just didn’t know she could not survie.  

Tired, (up all night in the hospital), frustrated by the c-section, distraught by my dear friends loss I knelt in church and wept.  

But my day wasn’t done yet………..God in his wisdom had a gift for me…I beautiful peaceful uncomplicated birth.   So after being up for 41 hours (with a few 30 minute naps) I experience two births and one loss of life.  

This is a strange world I live in.